Just A Sober-Curious 20-Something Girl

Is going cold turkey going too far?

As an Aussie, it’s no secret that drinking to the point of excess is practically a hallmark of our national identity. Whether it’s celebrating a birthday, marriage, graduation or—perhaps most ironically—a new baby, drinking seems to be the centre of it all. Beyond the positives, alcohol is also a tool most of us turn to to drown out the pain of disappointment, job stress, relationship breakdowns and exhaustion. Whether good or bad, alcohol seemingly finds a place in everything we do. And, to be honest, I’d never given it much thought until this year.

I’ll be honest—I’ve never been someone who drinks really heavily. Yes, I love a few cocktails with the girls and, come silly season, will drink most weekends. But it’s, bar one or two occasions (LOL), never been to the point of excess. So, for a long-time, I’d never considered sobriety because it seemed to be an extreme take on a pretty unextreme aspect of my life. Like most, alcohol was the social lubricant I required in my late teens and early 20s to be able to socialise and meet new people and, for those couple of hours of social bliss, escape the insecurities that thumped at the back of my head. But I’m grown up now—she says at the ripe age of 24—and as I’ve come into my own I find myself drawn less and less to a night spent slamming vodka cranberries. 

And while I’m not one to deny the fact that a drunken night dancing with the girls is sometimes just what the doctor ordered, I am also acutely aware that spending a Friday morning sipping lattes next to the beach has the same (if not more) of those life-is-worth-living benefits. So, why is it that sobriety is still so taboo? And is my hesitation to commit to it stemming from a fear of missing out or from a level of insecurity of what people may think? And, above all, why do I give a shit? All valuable questions, dear reader.

Let me be abundantly clear—the sober curiosity movement is not strictly sobriety. Rather, it refers to us becoming more conscious of our alcohol consumption without necessarily committing to never drinking ever again. But I’m never one to do things by halves (which is perhaps my fatal flaw), so when considering my alcohol consumption, it is two ends of the spectrum: all or nothing.

Particularly as someone who consciously prioritises their health (I exercise almost daily, eat relatively clean and take care of my mental health), the years of drinking for no particular reason other than for something to do seem counter-intuitive. And don’t even get me started on hang-xiety. The way my stomach drops as my eyes open on a Sunday morning should be studied. The onset is almost immediate and the fun of the night before is shrouded in a looming cloud of ‘why the fuck did I say that?’ which then becomes immediately more existential and turns into ‘why am I the way that I am?’ and ‘no but seriously, what is the meaning of life?’. Sure, the focus of my hang-xiety is always trivial and never, ever that serious. But, in the moment, there is nothing I’d like to do more than crawl into the fetal position only to resurface when the supposed storm has passed. And I’m just not sure it’s entirely worth it anymore.

Aside from the obvious that’s previously been discussed, high levels of alcohol consumption can also lead to a plethora of health issues. I’m talking cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer, liver disease and even brain shrinkage. And while my usual MO when faced with things like future health risks and financial planning is to take a head-in-the-sand approach (sorry mum and dad), I can only claim to be a clueless teenage girl for so many years—and, news flash, the jig is up. So, when looking to control the controllables, is the first step reducing alcohol consumption, or perhaps even stopping it all together?

I don’t have the answers (probably should have mentioned that earlier) but if you’ve made it this far I’m going to assume you’re in a similar boat to me. The tug-of-war between being young and ‘fun’ and being in alignment with what feels right for me is a tough one. For the time being, I make no promises either way. I am sitting very comfortably in the grey area of drinking when it feels right and saying no when it doesn’t. Overall, what I can say is that giving less of a shit about what people think overall, is probably the best first step.